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What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is a term applied to a variety of behaviors, inclusive of, though not restricted to, physical violence, sexual violence, intimidation, stalking, economic abuse, and psychological/emotional abuse. The ultimate goal of the abuser in a domestically violent relationship is to gain control over the victim. When one person in a relationship repeatedly scares, hurts or puts down the other person, IT IS ABUSE. Abuse is much more than slapping or grabbing someone. Below are some ways a person can try to exert power and control over another. 
INTIMIDATION:
Yelling or Screaming
Using a threatening tone
Talking down to a partner
Threatening to hurt self/partner
Making partner feel afraid
Tearing up pictures
Smashing gifts
Destroying objects
SEXUAL & PHYSICAL ABUSE
Bragging about sexual relationships
Pressuring partner
Negatively comparing to past partner(s)
Rape
Using drugs/alcohol to get sex
Restraining partner
Slamming into locker or wall
Slapping
Shoving
Punching
Kicking
Spitting
THREATS
Will commit suicide if you break up
Saying he/she can't live without you
Constantly threatening to leave you
Constantly threatening to find someone else
Will hurt you if you try to leave
DOMINATION
Treating partner like a baby, property, or servant
Making all the decisions
Having expectations that no one can meet
Controlling who partner sees or spends time with
Setting all of the rules in the relationship
HUMILIATION
Putting down partner
Name calling
Objectifying
Constant criticism
Making partner feel crazy
Making partner feel guilty
Embarrassing/humiliating partner
POSSESSIVENESS
Using jealousy as a sign of love
Accusing partner of cheating
Not letting partner have friends
Telling how to think, dress, act
MINIMIZATION & BLAME
Not accepting responsibility for actions
Making a joke when partner is hurt
Telling partner that everything is his/her fault
Acting like abuse is okay the
relationship

Cycle of Abuse

Abusers go through a series of emotions and rationalizations that allow them to justify their abuse. See the Cycle of Violence Wheel below for more information.
ABUSE: Rape, battery, incest, emotional abuse, murder, etc.
GUILT: Not normal guilt, but self-directed guilt.
RATIONALIZATION: Excuses the behavior by blaming the victim.
NORMAL BEHAVIOR/HONEYMOON STAGE: This is the stage where the abuser engages in normal behavior. This is when the batterer brings flowers and gifts to the partner and is thoughtful and kind.
FANTASY: The deviant, sexually aggressive fantasy. The abuser fantasizes about past and future abuse.
PLANNING: This is the stage where the abuser thinks about what he/she will need to have and do so that they can abuse again. If the plan is to be drunk in order to abuse the partner, they know they will have to buy alcohol.
SETTING UP: The abuser sets up the conditions so that the abuse can occur. A batterer may buy the alcohol and drink
it.
Picture

Financial Harm is a big part of Domestic Violence, please click on the link below for more information regarding this type of abuse.

Financial Help and Information
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  • About Us
    • Our Philosophy & Mission
    • History of Safe Space
    • Show Me The Numbers
    • Staff Members
    • Board of Directors
    • Testimonials
  • Services Offered
    • 24 Hour Crisis Line
    • Secured Shelter
    • Client Advocacy
    • Counseling & Support Groups
    • Community Education
    • Safety Planning
  • Information
    • YouTube Links
    • Ride Sharing
    • Victim Advocacy: Guide to Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violence
    • What Is Domestic Violence?
    • What is Sexual Assault?
    • Who Is At Risk?
    • Healthy Relationships
    • Are You In A Violent Relationship?
    • Family & Friends of Victims
    • Teen Dating Violence
    • Safety with Technology >
      • Cellular Phones
      • Computers
      • Internet - Social Media & Email
    • Local, State & National Contacts
    • Statistics & Facts
  • News & Events
    • A Moment in History
    • Current Newsletter
    • Archived Newsletters
    • Downloadable Forms
    • Volunteer Advocacy Training
    • Officer of the Year Award
    • DV Awareness Month Events
    • Photo Gallery
  • How Can You Help?
    • Volunteering
    • In-Kind Donations
    • Financial Contributions
    • Donate Used Cell Phones
  • Contact Us
  • Downloadable Forms